The morning show is rather difficult...

I'm a lazy sort, therefore getting up before, oh say11, is jarring to my senses. As a result I drink a lot of coffee which sends my normally functioning brain into what we in Texas call a "tizzy".

I'll illustrate what I mean: I brought a banana to work the other day and it was not yet totally ripe. So in order to speed the ripening process, I put it in the microwave. Makes sense right? So I took it out and burned my hand somethin' fierce.

A little later on, I was at the DMV and they wanted my fingerprints for their records. I didn't have any on my right hand, I'd burned them off. Being the good DMV workers that they are, they alerted the Dept of Homeland Security because who would be missing fingerprints on their right hand but a member of Al Qaeda? (sp?)

So after a thorough um, interview and extensive cavity search, I am free on my own recognisance and free of any prostrate problems. Now being a responsible Eagle Scout, I would never ordinarily put a banana into a microwave, but like I said, my brain is tizzified.

Also, I usually don't just make stuff up out of the blue, like I just did with the banana story. None of that was true. Did I just blow your mind or what? Michaela will be back on Monday.